Leaving Home

Tomorrow we are leaving our first home. I am heartbroken. I am surprised at how much this is tugging at my heart, I wanted to move and I'm thrilled that we are. But when I look at my empty rooms and think of all of the memories that this house holds I can't imagine getting in my car and driving away from them.

This has been my family's home. It is first house that Levi and I bought. It is the only place my boys have ever lived. In this house there have been more good days than bad ones. There has been more love and more laughter and singing than there have been tears. There have been first words and first fights and first steps. There have been broken dreams and new dreams and realized dreams.

These are the flowers that I grew from seeds. When they bloomed I was almost as proud of them and the other two little lives I grew from seeds :)

This is where our cat, Pig, is buried. She was the first pet I ever lost and Lou loved her fiercely.

This is the sink where both of my boys had their first baths.

This is our living room. It has seen parties and sword fights and baseball games and Christmas trees so tall we had to put a chair on the kitchen table to put the topper on them. It is where Squish had his febrile seizure on our 5th wedding anniversary.  It's where Bear first fought back and busted his big brothers lip.

This is the dining room. It is where Bear took his first steps. It's where I was when I thought I might be going into labor with Squish.

This is the window that I let Squish pee out of when I'm feeling silly and lazy (and redneck, let's be honest)

These are the hardwood floors that My husband, my brother and my father laid by hand so Squish wouldn't have to learn to crawl on dirty carpet.

This is where Squish was potty trained. And where Bear has even pooped a few times :) 

This is where my boys took their first big boy baths and their first bath together.

This is Squish's room. It's where he slept in a big boy bed for the very first time. It's where Bear first said "Mommy." It's where Squish first talked to Jesus.

This is our nursery. It's where we brought our boys home to. My mom and I slept in the floor for the first few nights after we brought Squish home. It's where Lou and I slept the first few weeks after we brought Squish home before we moved him into our room. It's where Squish took his first steps and where Lou used to read the cookie monster book to him.

This is the tree that one of my oldest friends painted on the wall for me.

This is where I have rocked two different boys to sleep over the past three years. It's the corner where my mom found mushrooms growing and replaced the carpet. This corner has seen me at naptime and bedtime and countless hours in the middle of countless nights. It's where I nursed Bear for the very last time.

This is our master bedroom. It's where I was when I knew for sure that I was going into labor with Squish. It's where my boys slept for several months in the cradle that my father built for me when I was born. It's where we made Squish :) 

This is where Lou and my Dad patched the ceiling after Lou fell through it while putting some boxes in the attic.

I should have rotated this, but this is our master bath. This is where I was when I found out that I was pregnant with Squish...and a few years later where I found out I was pregnant with Bear.

This is the back deck where my boys play and swim (usually naked:) It's where Lou and I go in the summertime after we put the boys to bed. It's where we will go one last time tonight and have a glass of wine and talk about everything that has been in this house and everything that will be in the next one.